dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
