Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you inspire me to be a worse person
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want a musical about memes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
