you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
