I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
