i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
