i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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