I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
