Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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