living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
