So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
