I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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