we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
