I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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