just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
