That's intense
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
