i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize