Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
