And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
