Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
