Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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