I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
