so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
