I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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