ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
