You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
