i think my mom watched the whole time
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize