Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
