Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
