once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's like iHOP with fire
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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