Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm jealous of your bromance
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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