is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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