some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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