Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
