Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
