just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
