we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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