Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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