Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she smelled like a LAN party
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
