There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
