So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
