obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The Olympian is in my bed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
