Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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