My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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