There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
