My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just googled if crying burns calories
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
