i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
