how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't deserve a penis
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
