anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
