i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think i got beer on your cat.
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