You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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