made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
